Why ‘the Road to Hell Is Paved with Adverbs’
Stephen King once wrote, “I believe the road to hell is paved with adverbs, and I will shout it from the rooftops.”
Whether you’re a Stephen King fan or not (I’m not), when it comes to fundraising copywriting, his words are spot on.
Because I’ve seen way too many fundraising copywriters lean on adverbs—very, extremely, really, truly, deeply—to create emotion. They assume these words add urgency and impact, but really, they do the opposite.
The truth is, adverbs weaken writing. And they’ll make your appeals feel vague, inauthentic, and cluttered.
If you want stronger, more compelling copy, cutting adverbs is one of the easiest ways to get there.
Adverbs are a sign of weak verbs
Adverbs often serve as crutches for lazy writing. Instead of using a strong verb, they prop up a weak one:
She ran quickly → She sprinted
He spoke passionately → He preached
They truly need your help → They need you
William Zinsser put it bluntly: “Most adverbs are unnecessary. You will clutter your sentence and annoy the reader if you choose a verb that has a specific meaning and then add an adverb that carries the same meaning.”
Translation: If your verbs are strong, you don’t need adverbs.
Adverbs create emotional distance
Fundraising should connect the donor to the need—not wrap it in bubble wrap.
Compare these:
She is truly desperate for help.
She hasn’t eaten in two days and is holding her baby, hoping he won’t cry from hunger.
The first tells the donor how to feel. The second makes them feel it.
Mark Twain said, “When you catch an adjective, kill it.” Adverbs deserve the same fate—especially in fundraising.
Instead of saying something is deeply important, explain why. Instead of saying someone is really struggling, paint the picture of that struggle.
Adverbs sound like marketing, not mission
Fundraising copy should sound real, not like a pitch deck.
Your gift will be extremely impactful!
This is truly a life-changing opportunity!
Empty slogans.
Instead, try:
Your gift will provide three meals for a child who hasn’t eaten today.
Act today, and you could change her future.
No hype. Just heart.
Adverbs make sentences clunky
Great fundraising writing is tight. It flows. And it doesn’t waste words.
We are incredibly grateful for your generosity.
Your generosity will change lives.
See the difference?
A quick word from behavioral science
Adverbs feel helpful—but they overload the brain.
Behavioral psychologists talk about “processing fluency”—how easily information is processed by the brain. When copy is clean, specific, and concrete, it’s easier to understand and more trustworthy.
But adverbs slow down the brain’s rhythm. They add cognitive load and reduce emotional immediacy, especially when paired with abstract language.
In plain English: Adverbs make your writing harder to believe and easier to ignore.
How to fix it: The adverb gut check
When editing, scan for adverbs: very, extremely, really, truly, deeply.
Ask yourself:
Is this adverb necessary? (Incredibly grateful → Grateful)
Can I swap in a stronger verb? (Spoke passionately → Preached)
Does it sound like marketing speak? (Extremely impactful → Life-changing)
If cutting it makes the sentence stronger, it was never needed in the first place.
Words that work (TL;DR)
Strong verbs > weak verbs + adverbs
Show emotion—don’t label it
Concrete beats abstract
Specificity builds trust
Shorter sentences increase response
Hype words trigger skepticism
Clarity drives action
Adverbs slow the read
Feeling real > sounding “written”
Better writing = increased giving
