How to Write a Fundraising Hook That Works
It’s not that people are impatient or lazy. It’s that our brains are on overload.
Consider this…
Researchers at USC’s Laboratory of Neuro Imaging estimate the average brain generates nearly 49 thoughts a minute, or about 70,000 thoughts in a single day.¹
Add to that the number of choices we make. Recent reports estimate that every day, adults face around 35,000 decisions.²
On top of all that, most of us see somewhere between 4,000 and 10,000 marketing messages every 24 hours.³
So when you and I as fundraising copywriters sit down to write a subject line, a headline, or the first sentence of a donor letter, we’re not stepping into empty space.
We’re entering a reader’s mind that’s already buzzing with thoughts, choices, and distractions.
That’s why your hook matters. Not because it’s a clever writer’s trick, but because it’s the opening move that earns permission.
A good hook cuts through the noise and says, “This is worth your time.”
Hooks depend on context
The problem I see a lot is that creative teams don’t give the hook enough attention.
When they do, the opening is often mismatched to the medium or the strategy, or it tries to be too cute and ends up unclear. Or cheesy. Or worst of all, generic.
A hook isn’t a tagline, it’s not throat clearing, and it’s not a courtesy thank-you. It’s the first decision point in the reader’s mind.
Not only that, but the context of your hook is everything. This means the way you begin a piece should change with where your words will live, who’s reading them, and what you’re asking them to do.
Here are some good examples of what I’m talking about…
In an email subject line, the decision is binary: open or delete. So clarity and consequence win. Not “Exciting update from us,” but “Midnight deadline to double your gift.”
In a direct mail letter, you do have a little more runway, but that runway can carry either urgency or reflection: “I’m writing to you because the deadline is tomorrow,” or, “When I think about the lives you’ve changed this year, one story comes to mind.”
On a webpage or banner, you’ve got a just handful of words to stop the scroll. Name the action or the outcome, not the organization. Talk to the donor. “Help truth rise above the noise” beats “Learn more about our work.”
In a newsletter or other cultivation piece, your headlines are your hooks. People scan first, and if the headlines don’t grab them (and speak to them), good luck.
The right hook is intentional and contextual. Its job is to win the next line—not win an award.
The brain science of why hooks work
Hooks work because they align with how the brain filters information and makes decisions.
The amygdala, the part of the brain that scans for threat and reward, lights up when something feels urgent. That’s why lines like “Time is running out” get attention.
On the other hand, the brain’s reward system fires when curiosity is sparked. Economist George Loewenstein calls this the information gap.
When there’s a space between what I know and what I want to know, dopamine releases and the mind stays engaged until the loop closes.⁴
Then there’s cognitive fluency. Princeton research shows we’re more likely to believe and act on messages that are easy to process.⁵ In practice, clear and concrete words outperform clever wordplay.
If the opening makes the reader pause to figure it out, you’ve probably lost them.
Threat and reward. Curiosity gaps. Cognitive fluency. A good hook speaks the brain’s language.
Get out of your own way
In journalism, a hook might exist to dazzle. In general marketing, it might exist to stand out.
But in relational fundraising copywriting, the best hook almost disappears.
That means if a donor notices your writing more than your message, you’ve already lost.
C. S. Lewis said it this way…
“The writer should see himself as a translator, whose business is to make plain what belongs to someone else.”
That’s our job as fundraising copywriters.
We don’t write to draw attention to ourselves. We write to clear the stage so the story, the need, and the opportunity shine.
“Thank you” isn’t a good hook 99.9% of the time
A word to the wise:
Don’t start with “thank you” unless you’re writing a thank-you letter or thank-you email.
Gratitude is essential, but it’s not a good hook.
If your house burned down and you were calling a friend for help, you wouldn’t begin the conversation with “I just want to start this conversation by thanking you for your friendship.” You’d get right to the point.
The urgency and the need would lead, and gratitude would follow once your friend had stepped in.
It’s the same with an appeal. If you open with “thank you,” you risk closing the loop before you’ve even opened it. You signal that the work is done, the pressure is off, and there’s nothing more for the donor to do.
This being said, there is a way to weave gratitude near the top without losing momentum when you’re writing to your most invested donors.
It sounds like this:
“I’m writing to you with an urgent request today.
“But first, let me say how grateful I am for your partnership. Your support has already impacted so many lives.
“Now, back to my urgent request….”
Urgency leads, gratitude softens, and urgency returns. The hook stays alive, the donor feels seen, and the message keeps moving.
Remember: A hook doesn’t need to be flashy or clever.
It has to sound human, like a friend leaning across the table with something you can’t help but want to hear.
The Four C’s of a good hook
When in doubt, I run an opening line through what I call the Four C’s. It’s not a formula, but it’s a quick gut check:
Clear: Would an eighth grader understand this instantly?
Compelling: Does my hook spark urgency or curiosity, or at least make me want to read the next line?
Contextual: Does it fit the medium, the audience, and the moment?
Concealed: Does it disappear into the background so the story, not my writing, shines?
If your hook checks all four boxes, keep going. If it misses one, revise. If it misses two, start over.
Why hooks matter
At the end of the day a hook isn’t a gimmick. It’s an act of respect.
It tells the reader, “I know you’re already carrying 70,000 thoughts, 35,000 choices, and 10,000 competing messages today. I won’t waste your attention. Let me start in a way that serves you, not me.”
Donors don’t give because of clever lines. They give because they see a story that matters and a role they can play.
That’s why the best hooks don’t sound like hooks at all.
One more thing
This is the work I do every day at Creator. Helping nonprofits and ministries find words that work, serve the mission, and move people to act.
If you or someone you know are looking for a fundraising copywriter who knows how to balance urgency with relationship and who writes the way real people talk, let’s connect.
Sources
Laboratory of Neuro Imaging at USC, estimate of about 70,000 thoughts per day. Cited in: American Journal of Medicine, 2024.
CNBC, “Adults make 35,000 decisions a day, here’s how to avoid choice overload,” February 20, 2025.
Yankelovich Consumer Research, industry estimate of 4,000 to 10,000 marketing messages per day, widely cited in advertising literature.
Loewenstein, George. The Psychology of Curiosity: A Review and Reinterpretation. Psychological Bulletin, 1994.
Alter, Adam L., and Daniel M. Oppenheimer. Predicting short term stock fluctuations by using processing fluency. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 2006.
